Hurricane Party Drinks...

Next time a hurricane is brewing in the Gulf I'm going to the store and stocking up on ice and alcohol. I'm going to make sure that I've got a battery powered blender and I'm hunkering down and having a Hurricane Party. Here are some great drink ideas for the party. Which is your favorite?

MANDATORY EVACUATION

1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka

1/2 oz. vermouthClamatoPrune juice

Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass.

Fill remainder of glass withequal parts clamato and prune juice.

Stir.

Drink.

Ask next-door neighborwhose fichus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'dwarned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom.

Repeat.
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CATEGORY 5

1/2 oz. vodka

1/2 oz. tequila

1/2 oz. rum

1/2 oz. bourbon

1/2 oz. gin

Sweet-and-sour mix

Splash of fruit juice

Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass.

Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice.

Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella.

Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that floodedyour garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

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CONE OF PROBABILITY

1 oz. cinnamon schnapps

1 sugar cone

Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone.

Every time you hear a TV weathermansay, 'cone of probability,' bite off the end of the cone and down the shot.

If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the 'Cantore Zone'... damn him. Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, ifCantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?) - that is mypersonal favorite!
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FEEDER BAND

2 oz. Midori

2 oz. rum

1 scoop vanilla ice cream

After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass.

Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer.

Stir and drink through a straw.

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BEACH EROSION

1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger

1 1/2 oz. apple brandy

1 pack Sugar in the Raw

Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass.

As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey whereit belongs.

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DOWNED POWER LINE

1 1/2 oz. rum

5 oz. Jolt Cola

Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass.

Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.

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FLOOD ZONE

2 oz. Kahlúa

2 oz. Baileys Ir ish cream

4 oz. rum

Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.
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COLD SHOWER

2 oz. Blue Aftershock

4 oz.. Sprite

Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received afterwaiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot.

Take a deepbreath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits

your tongue.

Repeat.

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LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT

1 oz. Jack Daniel's

Splash of sarsaparilla

Rock salt

Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt.

Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla.

Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla.

Watch for looters.

When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt.

Drink shot.

Repeat.

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THE CHAIN SAW

1 oz. Goldschläger

1 oz. Rumplemintz

3 oz. Jim Beam

Splash of vermouth

Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can.

Add splash of vermouth.

Drink.

Remove chain saw from garage and attemptto cut up fallen tree limbs in yard.

Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

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FOUR-WAY STOP

1 1/2 oz. vodka

1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori

1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano

1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass.

Serve one to yourself and three other people.

The person with the clear shot of vodka drinksfirst.

The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on.

If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living crap out of him.

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BLUE TARP

1 1/2 oz. Curacao

2 oz. pineapple juice

Splash of lime

Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve.

Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup.

If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in theprocess.

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FEMA FIZZLE

1 1/2 oz. Southern Comfort

2 oz. sloe gin

Tonic water

One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass.

Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash ofAngostura bitters.

Serve with a nut brownie.

Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, 'Doing a helluva job Brownie'